One of my cousins had just forwarded me one of those "good living" guidelines. You know, those that read like a simple handbook and list daily reminders for essential but oft-overlooked must-dos like "Smile often", "Start the day with a prayer", "Drink 8 glasses of water daily", just to name a few. Well, the one she emailed me contained one that is new to me: "Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy"
I was struck particularly by the word "Empathy". It's not something one gets reminded of doing or sharing every day. This calls to mind the Bible verse of the day on Bible Gateway yesterday:
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” - Micah 6:8
Empathy seems to be one of those ideas that gets misunderstood a lot. We tend to think it's about understanding what someone else is going through or being sensitive to what someone else is feeling. But that's easier said than done -- what if you have no idea how much pain another person is actually experiencing? How do you empathize if that's the case?
When I was learning how to walk again last year, after about 8 months of keeping my injured left leg off the ground, my husband kept telling me how to step and climb stairs. He feels empathy, of course, and maybe a bit entitled as a "teacher" of using crutches, only because he used a pair for a short time after spraining a foot when he was younger. But a sprain is very different from broken bones, that's why his "help" annoyed the hell out of me. I couldn't help but retort back, "Don't tell me what to do because you don't know what it feels like! You have never broken your leg!" That sure shut him up. Although I felt a tiny bit guilty for what I said to him, because I know he was just trying to be helpful, I wouldn't take it back. I understood then why most physically-challenged people tell others not to help unless help is requested.
Empathy is not only mere understanding or sensitivity; it is mercy and encouragement at the right place and the right time. Even if we can't relate, being on standby when it matters or a good listener instead of giving unwanted/unneeded assistance shows we really give a damn and that we have truly put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. And especially when we're down on our own luck, but someone else has sunk lower, that's when our sense of empathy will be greatly tested. Hope we'll be ready to still care and go beyond ourselves despite our own troubles.
I was struck particularly by the word "Empathy". It's not something one gets reminded of doing or sharing every day. This calls to mind the Bible verse of the day on Bible Gateway yesterday:
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” - Micah 6:8
When I was learning how to walk again last year, after about 8 months of keeping my injured left leg off the ground, my husband kept telling me how to step and climb stairs. He feels empathy, of course, and maybe a bit entitled as a "teacher" of using crutches, only because he used a pair for a short time after spraining a foot when he was younger. But a sprain is very different from broken bones, that's why his "help" annoyed the hell out of me. I couldn't help but retort back, "Don't tell me what to do because you don't know what it feels like! You have never broken your leg!" That sure shut him up. Although I felt a tiny bit guilty for what I said to him, because I know he was just trying to be helpful, I wouldn't take it back. I understood then why most physically-challenged people tell others not to help unless help is requested.
Empathy is not only mere understanding or sensitivity; it is mercy and encouragement at the right place and the right time. Even if we can't relate, being on standby when it matters or a good listener instead of giving unwanted/unneeded assistance shows we really give a damn and that we have truly put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. And especially when we're down on our own luck, but someone else has sunk lower, that's when our sense of empathy will be greatly tested. Hope we'll be ready to still care and go beyond ourselves despite our own troubles.
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