Virginity, chastity, purity. Why does the idea of staying pure before marriage elicit sarcastic snickers? Isn't it possible anymore these days? Does staying a virgin until the pastor declares "You have now been joined in holy matrimony" a childish dream? If the shocking and disturbing increase in the rate of teenage pregnancies in the Philippines is any indication, then I guess the answer to my last question is a sobering "Yes". But I believe that with the guidance of responsible and caring adults and friends, it is possible to protect oneself from sexual temptations.
Yesterday at Victory Fort, Ptr. Paolo Punzalan shared a photo of his 13-year old daughter wearing a "purity ring". He said it's more like a promise, that she will keep herself pure until she's married, and that she can only exchange the ring for a permanent one -- that of an engagement ring. In fact, they celebrated her 13th birthday with friends and family whom they have "enlisted" to help them guide their daughter through her teenage and adult years. Pastor Paolo said that they did that because, they might not always be there to give her advice or there might be situations where their daughter might feel more comfortable talking about certain issues with people other than her parents, so it's better that she be surrounded by people they trust and respect. I guess it's sort of like having a new set of godparents :)
I was so moved by what Pastor Paolo did that I immediately thought of how we could customize something similar for our own boys. Of course, it's uncommon for boys to be wearing promise rings, but I'm sure we can find a couple of cool ones somewhere out there that they could wear either on their left ring finger or on a lace around their neck. Might be more meaningful to have them make the ring themselves, if they could find a good material to work with.
I told my husband that, the "deal" we'll make with our kids is this: they are to wear the ring on their 13th birthday until the time they get married. If they stick to our agreement, we'll help pay for either the engagement or wedding ring/s. I want our kids to understand the essence of the promise, that it's not just a promise of accountability to us, but ultimately to God. It is a promise to do right by God, to do right by themselves, by us, by the women they'll vow to cherish for the rest of their lives, and by the parents of their future wives.
Purity is not just a mere idea or a state of being. It's about character, self-respect, and strength of conviction. I pray to God that He'll protect our kids and help them keep their promise.
Yesterday at Victory Fort, Ptr. Paolo Punzalan shared a photo of his 13-year old daughter wearing a "purity ring". He said it's more like a promise, that she will keep herself pure until she's married, and that she can only exchange the ring for a permanent one -- that of an engagement ring. In fact, they celebrated her 13th birthday with friends and family whom they have "enlisted" to help them guide their daughter through her teenage and adult years. Pastor Paolo said that they did that because, they might not always be there to give her advice or there might be situations where their daughter might feel more comfortable talking about certain issues with people other than her parents, so it's better that she be surrounded by people they trust and respect. I guess it's sort of like having a new set of godparents :)
I was so moved by what Pastor Paolo did that I immediately thought of how we could customize something similar for our own boys. Of course, it's uncommon for boys to be wearing promise rings, but I'm sure we can find a couple of cool ones somewhere out there that they could wear either on their left ring finger or on a lace around their neck. Might be more meaningful to have them make the ring themselves, if they could find a good material to work with.I told my husband that, the "deal" we'll make with our kids is this: they are to wear the ring on their 13th birthday until the time they get married. If they stick to our agreement, we'll help pay for either the engagement or wedding ring/s. I want our kids to understand the essence of the promise, that it's not just a promise of accountability to us, but ultimately to God. It is a promise to do right by God, to do right by themselves, by us, by the women they'll vow to cherish for the rest of their lives, and by the parents of their future wives.
Purity is not just a mere idea or a state of being. It's about character, self-respect, and strength of conviction. I pray to God that He'll protect our kids and help them keep their promise.
2 comments:
I agree. With proper guidance and clear communication, we can help our kids save themselves for marriage.
I definitely want to do something like this. And in order for it to work I would have to be open and honest, and explain to my girls why I was pregnant when their Dad and I got married. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this yet. But I'm sure they will figure it out and we will have to talk about it eventually.
Hi Ina! Same here. I don't want our kids to do the same mistake we did. Even if things worked out eventually, we learned the hard way. We've actually been doing our own RH bill kind of thing in our home the past couple of years. We haven't minced any details about sex, marriage, pregnancy, but we put it all in the context of purpose & responsibility.
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