My little boys conspired, in their subconsciousness, to deprive their mother of sleep last night. Although I woke up surprisingly rested and refreshed (thank God), I soon ran out of gas in the early afternoon. I almost forgot that we had another of those quarterly Executives' briefing again tonight. My endless yawning was getting on my nerves.
Anyway, so there I was, 40% awake and 60% so-want-to-go-home-already. Towards the middle of the whole session, it came time again to hand out "Employee of the Quarter" awards. I don't know how the managers choose EQ awardees and I sure as heck don't know how my name got on the list.
My manager was handing out the awards and I was the last name on the list, so he started with something like, "It's my great pleasure..." or something like that coz I was too out of it to notice. It was only when our resident superman, Lito, turned to me and said, "Uy, Nicole Nicolas!" And I was like, "Huh?" Then he pointed at the huge screen. Since the stage lights were on, I couldn't immediately make out what was on it, but there it was, my name and a chunk of text underneath it that detailed why I won an EQ award. All I heard my manager say were references to the "damage" I did with KMAP tuning and the D2 project that took up all my sanity during the last quarter.
My first reaction (which I think almost everyone heard in that room was) "Ano??!!!" (essentially, "What???") A friend, Farida, described it best when she said I looked confused when I got on stage and that I didn't seem to know why I was there in the first place. But, of course, the usual Nix took over once I realized that it's all real. When our Chairman himself put the jacket on me, I was thinking "Finally! I have the reversible jacket that everyone so wants!" and then when I shook hands with one of the EVPs, I was thinking, "Ay sana si Max Cheng" (the cute boyish EVP whom all the ladies adore).
Boy oh boy, I'm still dazed.
I soon found out from my manager how the ball landed on my name: he said that when he nominated me, our department director even questioned it because, usually, only engineers get the award. My manager fought it out with her, justifying that the basis was a huge global project. She took his point, but said that if no one else nominates anyone better (ahem, more deserving), then she might consider me. So, ok, I had something like a 1:200 chance.
But this is how I see it: All throughout the project (until now actually), I was scared out of my wits. It was an enormous responsibility, and there was a lot that we had to learn and understand in such a short time. I didn't want to pretend that I understood it. However, I did want to do the best job I possibly can, but I can't do it without God's help. I figured that, well, God knows everything so I asked Him to guide me every step of the way and to protect my work ('cause you know how things are with software--it can all just unravel on its own and it won't make any sense). And that's what God did. But I'm just so amazed that He went beyond that and even rewarded my work. I don't know why... but I am deeply honored and grateful and I bring back all the glory to the Man Above.
