Because a friend and I decided to create a video documentary on wet nursing for our undergraduate thesis, we learned everything a mother needed to know about breastfeeding and breastmilk years before we ourselves became mothers. This stock of knowledge has enabled us to help dozens of friends and relatives with their own breastfeeding issues over the last decade or so. From these experiences, despite tons of articles on the topic, I've also learned that there are some things about breastfeeding that you will only find out after the baby has arrived:
- Breastfeeding is hard
Before new moms could even experience the benefits and wonders of nursing, they will have to first overcome three initial shockers: painful post-partum recovery, sleeplessness, and cluelessness. Add to that the realization that nursing your infant is not easy to do because you don't know how to make him/her latch on properly. Improperly latching is the most common cause of bleeding/cracked nipples.
How to deal with this:
- Get help from a lactation consultant or ask a mommy friend who is also nursing/has breastfeeding experience to help you learn how to nurse your baby properly and also teach your baby how to latch on correctly.
- Don't hesitate to ask your parents and/or close friends (especially the godparents) for help with caring for your newborn, because you need some "me" time to also take care of yourself. Else, you'll just go bonkers.
- The breastmilk supply doesn't immediately come out
Surprise, surprise -- breastmilk does not come out at the same time the baby does. You might have seen ads, pictures, etc. showing newborns nursing at their mothers' breasts. What they're getting is a nutrient-rich substance called colostrum, which a mother's body naturally produces immediately after giving birth. But, that's not really breastmilk yet. Colostrum supply usually ends after the second day (don't take that as fact, that's just what I experienced personally with my two babies). Your baby's steady supply of breastmilk usually comes out after 3-5 days. I have 2 friends whose breastmilk came out after almost a week. Many first-time moms give up on breastfeeding because their milk takes so long to come out. They resort to the convenience of a much lesser form of nutrition for their babies: formula milk.
How to deal with this:
- Persist and be very, very patient with yourself and your baby.
- Use a breastpump to encourage your milk ducts to produce milk. No demand, no supply.
- Rest and don't stress yourself out over your milk not coming out yet.
- Don't feel guilty about temporarily resorting to formula milk. Just don't give up completely. Do mixed feeding for a few days but, put your baby at your breast more often.
- Keeping the milk supply abundant and continuous takes a lot of work
Once you start nursing regularly, it should be common sense to keep yourself healthy, especially because the amount and quality of your breastmilk is highly reliant on your body's ability to produce an adequate supply. But, round-the-clock baby care makes it tempting to not maintain good health habits, like eating the right foods at the right time and getting enough sleep. It's even more difficult to keep healthy and avoid stress if you're a working mom.
How to deal with this:
- Maintain a healthy, balanced diet. Your milk supply gets nutrients from what you eat and drink. Certain types of food are known to increase breastmilk production, e.g., seafood broth, beef soups, coconut juice.
- Avoid eating sugary and oily foods.
- Sleep when your baby sleeps.
- Use a breastpump.
- Nurse often and regularly.
- Go for a nice 15 to 30-minute walk or jog with your baby in a stroller. If you can't go out, then find an indoor exercise regimen that works for you. More exercise tips here.
- If you are a working mom, talk with your manager about allowing you to take at least two 30-minute breaks at specific times during your work day so that you could pump your breastmilk. Unexpressed breastmilk can build up in your milk ducts and cause a heavy, excruciating pain in your breasts. It can also affect your body's milk production. If your office doesn't have an adequate facility where you could pump breastmilk, talk with your HR manager about the need to set one up.
- Nursing mothers are extra emotional
Preggers are understandably emotional and sensitive, and maybe even a bit weird with their preferences (I know I was). You might become even more so while nursing. But, I'm talking about a different kind of emotional sensitivity this time. You will discover pretty soon that you and your baby have a very special connection. Even without holding him/her, s/he knows if you're happy or sad. It comes from having been physically connected to you for 9 months; the most familiar and comforting sound to your baby is your voice.
This bit of advice is especially for dads and people around new moms: share in her joy. Be understanding, patient, and open-minded. Listen to her as she shares this amazing experience with you.
- The father's support directly affects the nursing mom's efforts
All too often, there are new mothers who give up on breastfeeding because they don't get any support from the father. When a father isn't on the same page as the mother in her plans to breastfeed their baby, it creates additional stress for the mother, which in turn also affects her milk supply.
What the dads should do:
- Do everything else that your wife will be too tired to do especially during the first month, e.g., burping the baby, changing the diaper, sterilizing the breastpump and breastmilk bottles, preparing her meals, doing the laundry. It was her body that had to endure 9 months of drastic physical changes, plus the mind-numbing pains of labor, delivery, and post-partum recovery. Treat her like a queen.
- Let your wife express her thoughts and feelings about breastfeeding, and listen actively.
- Read up about breastfeeding and the benefits of breastmilk.
- Be your wife's cheerleader. As I've said earlier, breastfeeding is hard. Encourage her to persist because, breastmilk is the best for your baby.
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