17 May 2011

Reaching A Point of Clarity

"Knowing what to leave out is just as important as knowing what to focus on." - Warren Buffet

Another sleepless night found me staring up seemingly blankly at the ceiling but, inside my head was chaos -- a brew of ideas that kept churning, mutating, bubbling, and glaring at me.  It was stressful, to say the least, because there is only one me but I have all these plans and dreams.

There was only one solution.  It was obvious and I'd known it for days, but I wasn't ready to face it until last night.  However, the dizziness inside my head had begun to manifest physically; I was experiencing tunnel vision and a growing intolerance towards other people's demands of me.  Ms. Congeniality is out, Ms. Grumpy is in.

The solution was to detoxify.  By definition, it means to remove impurities or toxins.  But, in my case, it means re-evaluating my to-do list, reviewing my plans, and -- as sad as it makes me -- letting go of some things.  To be fair and right about how I detoxified, I made all the ideas/projects in my head go through a three-part filter:

Filter #1: Am I really passionate about it?

There are things that I believe in and then there are also things that I will fight for.  If I am to dedicate my time and energy (and, to a certain extent, emotions) to an important commitment, it should be something that I not only believe in, but will uphold and stand behind.  Because life is too short to not do something meaningful and beautiful.

Filter #2: Have I come to a solid, unmoving wall and have I done my very best to find at least a small hole in it?

There are things that seem doable until you suddenly feel that you're coming up against a wall.  No matter how hard you try to find a way over, under, or around it, that wall just keeps getting more stubborn and thicker.

There are walls that eventually crack and give you the opportunity to start chipping away until you find a small hole you could bore through. But, there are also walls that stay put in doing their original duty, that is, to keep you out.  Those are walls that you should stop kicking and pissing on.  Just walk away.  Work at the walls that will eventually give way; it's just harder but hope hasn't died yet.

Filter #3: Does it still give me that "butterflies in my stomach" feeling?

There are ideas that excite and then there are ideas that make you want to pee.  That tingling sensation is a very good thing.  It is what keeps you feeling "hyper" and making silly smiles, despite any challenges that come your way.


I started with 8 big ideas in my head.  After this test, only 3 remained.  Of course I'm still a bit wistful about mentally trashing the others but, the lightness I now feel tells me that I've done the right thing.  Suddenly, it has become clear to me what I must do and when.

Moreover, I finally got a good night's sleep.

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